The Mail Carrier strutted down the street, her blond hair blowing in the wind. Her glittery bedazzled boots made “Click, Click” noises on the concrete, and cast little rainbows from the reflection of the sun. Down the street, Mr. Arnold was pushing the curtains away from the window and whispering to his wife, “Luanne, I hope we get some mail today because that Mail Carrier is capital B beautiful.” Luanne huffed. 

“Hmmph, we’ll see about that.” she hip-chucked her husband out of the way to get at a look at this woman. Oh god, she really is beautiful! Well, I won’t admit defeat! I have known him since high school and I’m not about to let him go now! Luanne Thought. 

“Oh, George! She isn’t that pretty. Look her lipstick is smudged, and those can’t be her real eyelashes, they are obviously fake!”  George ignored his wife and kept watching the mail carrier as she delivered the mail to all of his next-door neighbors. 

“Luanne, she’s coming! Get out of the way!” 

“I most certainly will not! George, we’ve been married for 37 years! Not to mention the fact that you’r 62! This Mail Carrier lady whoever she is looks about  20, just think that’s a difference of 42 years! Have you even thought about the fact that she might already be in a relationship? Honestly, do you even have brain cells? You know, I’m starting to think that maybe I could have a better life with someone else.” 

“Yeah, sure honey, whatever you say.” 

“Hmmph.” Luanne turned and walked off, leaving George to lose his mind over a mail carrier. Ugh, I am way better for him than that loser ever would be. I have a high-paying job, she walks around giving people their bills, and magazines. I bet she doesn’t even know how to cook. To George’s dismay, the mail carrier did not stop to deliver his mail, she just kept walking. Although George was disappointed and to say he was a little annoyed would have been an understatement. But then, he remembered that he had a wife named Luanne who was just as beautiful as any mail carrier ever could be. With that, George put the curtains back in place over the window and disappeared into his bedroom to be with his wife. George never saw the mail carrier again and to this day he has never seen her either.